Eva element had a terrible day today. Not only did she trip over her belly flabs 10000 times in one day (new record), but also was declared a feminist on runescape because his name has the word “Eva”, and his character is a guy. In fact, he is a feminist. Every day, he uses his 10 year old voice to scream up to his poor, single mom to buy him a new hello kitty shirt. When suddenly, his mother couldn’t take it anymore and she tabbed him with a spoon in his flab.
He said a couple words in latin, and his eyes turned red. The spoon flew back at his mom and impaled her in the throat. Tentacles dripping with lard arose from his moldy armpits and began to feast on the corpse. When police came to check out the scene, he ate them too. That’s when the army came in. NATO did some bombing operations on the house, but he ate them all.
Eventually, there was so much lard and potassium nitrate inside his body that he blew up into a million pieces. The “pieces” were actually midget clones of him walking on 4 flaby tentacles. They took over the world and began to colonize throughout the universe. What happened when aliens found Eva elements empire? find out next in part 2!